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Special Training trainingSpecial Training is coming. At this time one week hence I should be getting ready for breakfast after having accomplished a strong practice. Optimistically speaking, of course. Having done this some nine or ten times already, I'm pretty sure I can do it again. But my comment today is that as Special Training approaches, no matter how many times I've done it, it still looms large, consuming all my extra brain cycles. I train for it; I do my cardio and weights work, eat fairly well, take care to not injure myself, try not to get sick. I make sure I have all my junk together (checking for my obi several times!!!) and make sure the car's ready for the trip. Still, the newbie anxiety is there in the back of my mind. Will I wimp out on Hamburger Hill? Or will I, at a ripe old age of 46, blast by the youngsters who haven't learned to ignore what they think they can't do? Will my feet split open during kata practice? Can I finally push myself 100% through the kiba-dachi practice? Even though I can honestly say I am not ashamed of previous efforts, I know I can do better. Will this be the time? Will I be able to eat and drink properly? Many times I'm almost too tired to nourish myself, which leads to even worse feeling. I really want to "take hold" of my consciousness and do all the things I need to do to have a strong practice. Special Training is not just about the practices - I think it's a metaphor for life. Be strong and honest the whole way through, not just for the practices.
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Commenting on my own post?
Commenting on my own post? Oh well, I guess it's ok.
I believe stress is caused by worrying about something we can't, or think we can't, change. To avoid the pre-Special Training stress, I do everything I can think of to make it so that all I have to do is be there, in the moment. Kind of a two-month-long mokuso.
I agree. We can never be ready 100%.
I agree. We can never be ready 100% for a special training, physically or mentally. It doesn't matter how many times you have done it, how young/old you are or what your rank is. It seems that there is always a new challenge or two. I'm realizig that's why it is called "special" training. We'll be on the battle field with imperfect body and mind, or with whatever we have. We just do it! At least we know that we'll have a nice bed, food after each practice and NO swords on the field! -Hiroko